Jerry Springer here we come...

Going to the chapel- may 5, 2011

As a kid, I was really good friends with a girl named Marcie. We remained friends through my college years but eventually drifted apart. Growing up, I remember hearing stories about Marcies's “bat shit crazy” half sister Mary. Fast forward to September 2^nd 2000, it's my birthday and I'm in town. My dad brings his “girlfriend” Mary to my dinner. Apparently, they knew each other in high school and had crushes on each other and lost touch when my dad married my mom.

Mary and him reconnected on facebook. Currently, she lives in Denver and they have been seeing eachother for a few months via long distance trips. My dad clearly forgets that he used to call her bat shit crazy. Anyway, my dad is an alcoholic and falls off the wagon hard core (I'm not sure he was officially ever on the wagon) but it spiraled and I confronted him. I also called Mary and told her about his alcoholism...she was in denial and apparently had been enabling him while they were on their trips. He agreed to go to rehab in Denver.

After he completed rehab, I drove to Denver to pick him up and within 24 hours of arriving home, he was inebriate so I shipped him back to Denver to be with Mary... apparently, what he wanted. I started to come out for visits to help move Mary and her daughter(s) things to Michigan and on one of these trips my dad tells me that they are getting married before they move. The date is May 5, 2011. Less than a month away.

My father whom has told me the majority of my life to never get married is jumping into a marriage with a women that he has been dating less than a year and he knew her over 30 years ago??? Cause I'm sure she is exactly the same person as she was at 20... I mean none of us change, right? She has been married and divorced twice.... There is no possible way that she could have baggage from that, is there? This prompts a big argument between my dad and I. He even locked himself in his bedroom and refused to talk to me. I only wanted to know why there was such an urgency and his response was that he didn't owe me an explanation. Okay, so you can't explain it, yet you are doing it anyway? Yeah, totally makes sense to me. I almost left that night and had no plans of coming to the wedding but he finally came out of his room and we semi- resolved the conflict. He still wouldn't answer my question however.

I went sight seeing early the next morning and didn't come back till late that night. They didn't seem to care much. The following morning I went home with a load of stuff. I was to come back just before the wedding.

May 5^th rolls around and to continue the insanity, my dad decides that he doesn't need a pre-nuptiul agreement. Another brilliant idea from a brain injured drunk if I do say so myself. The wedding is at a little church and my now step sister Kristin, her friend Samantha, my dad, Mary and I are the only people in attendance. It went off without a hitch and I lent Mary my grandma's necklace that I had. We took photos and then Kristin, Samantha and I went to eat and Mary and my dad went on their honeymoon. That night, Kristin and I went out to a local bar via taxi and had a pretty fun time until Kristin decided to wander off. Kristin is not one to answer her phone, let alone charge it and I'm in a strange city, not knowing Mary's address, drinking and alone. I was freaking out and pissed at her. After I alerted a few people to be looking for her, one of them finally saw her and told her to find me and we were finally reunited. A few days later, I headed back to Michigan.

I, of course, texted Marcie to congratulate her on becoming my new step-aunt. Wow...can we say Jerry Springer?  To further complicate things Marcie's mom (Mary's step-mom) has also hit on my dad just prior to my dad marrying Mary.  Can we say awkward?